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”The man perks up.“So,” the doctor says, “You must decide how many inches you want. But I understand that you have been married for over thirty years, and this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now, she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine incher before, and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed. It’s important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision.”The man agrees to talk it over with his wife.The doctor comes back the next day, “So, have you spoken with your wife?”“Yes I have,” says the man.“And has she helped you make a decision?”“Yes,” says the man.“What is your decision?” asks the doctor.“We’re getting granite countertops.”The Italian Gardner-Spring will be here before you know itAn elderly Italian gentleman lived alone in New Jersey. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent,. I was a girl.I dont know what I would have done if Anne and Jill and John hadn't camebursting into my room at that point, and John asked "You okay, dude?" No. I'm not. I'm not okay. Cause I'm not a dude. I'm a freaking girl!"There was a shocked silence for a moment, and then he said, "Yeah. I .. Ithink you are." It ... makes sense," Jill said.Anne sat on my bed, and hugged me. "It will be okay. I always wanted ababy sister."And so the longest, and strangest journey began for me.John was with me for some of it, but when the girl stuff got too intensefor him, he left it to my sister and Jill, who gently and lovingly helpedme gain more and more confidence in my presentation and appearance. Theystood by me as I told my folks, told councilors, and eventually Michellewas who the world saw on a full time basis.Then one cold February day, the girls decided what I needed was a date,and John graciously offered to be my escort for the evening, and I foundmyself in the prettiest dress I had yet.
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